One of the things I have to do at work is clean the bathrooms. We don't hire a cleaning service so we take turns with the cleaning duties. On my last cleaning venture I was happily scouring a toilet and singing to myself when I discovered it. A hair. Not just any hair though... there is only one type of hair that turns and twists in such a way that reminds you of an off ramp in the city...
A pube. A hair from the great beyond.
It didn't surprise me that it was there. I was, after all, cleaning a toilet. What made me stop for a moment was my realization that this pube was not a "stranger pube". I actually knew one of the people it came from, but not intimately enough to be okay with its presence. This was an "acquaintance pube", the most awkward of all pubes.
Showing posts with label toilet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label toilet. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Clogging the Work Toilet
Yup. We're gonna talk about poop. Classy, no?
Lately it seems, good hearty poops are all the rage. We lead the way into the 21st century holding our colon cleanses high in the air exclaiming, "I POOP FREQUENTLY AND HAVE IDEAL GIRTH!" Well, guess what folks, I was a trend setter way back in the 90's.
Consequently, I've become a bit neurotic when it comes to using a restroom other than mine when it comes to pooping. Particularly when that restroom only has one toilet and no plunger in sight. The beauty of public restrooms with multiple toilets is you can always use the excuse of "it was that other chick". Unless, of course, there's a line. Then you can either let everyone know you destroyed the toilet or wait out the crowd and possibly make fart noises with your mouth so everyone doesn't think you're stalling. Ha ha. That was punny.
Lately it seems, good hearty poops are all the rage. We lead the way into the 21st century holding our colon cleanses high in the air exclaiming, "I POOP FREQUENTLY AND HAVE IDEAL GIRTH!" Well, guess what folks, I was a trend setter way back in the 90's.
Consequently, I've become a bit neurotic when it comes to using a restroom other than mine when it comes to pooping. Particularly when that restroom only has one toilet and no plunger in sight. The beauty of public restrooms with multiple toilets is you can always use the excuse of "it was that other chick". Unless, of course, there's a line. Then you can either let everyone know you destroyed the toilet or wait out the crowd and possibly make fart noises with your mouth so everyone doesn't think you're stalling. Ha ha. That was punny.
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